There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
North Korea, Best Korea!
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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