in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Randomize
