We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
