'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
