they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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