you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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