did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize