I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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