Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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