I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
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