he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
