ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
