I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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