YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize