They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
