We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize
