I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
