She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
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For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
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I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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