Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
