Rock
Scissors
Fuck
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize