this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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