Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
