Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
