Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
