He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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