she kept yelling 'call me bella'
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
