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He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
