Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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