so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
