I love black thongs
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
