Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
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She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
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he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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