I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
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Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
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At least life still wants to fuck me.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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