Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
