Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
