Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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