I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize