u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
