i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Randomize
