my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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