Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
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