Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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