So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
