I feel like I'm in dance class right now
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
