she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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