If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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