I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
