you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You are a genius and a whore.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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