I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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