Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
