i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
