that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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