i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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