I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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