thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
