When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
