sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
