omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
