hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
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I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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