They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
