I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
