My underwear smells like fireworks.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
