So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
NoShamevember. You game?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
