Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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