I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
